Brainwash
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Sunday, April 18, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
I've waited Three Years to be This Old
I turned 21 today, (or rather yesterday)
I would just like to take this moment to stop and appreciate how far I have come. Particularly in the last three years.
I have grown into the young woman that I am today, I have learned how to provide for myself and appreciate all the things God gave me on this earth. I've begun to get back in touch with the meaning and purpose of things. To realize the things I should pursue to gain genuine joy rather than superficial happiness. I have loved and lost, and loved and been blesses with a wonderful man who is my husband-to-be.
I had a lovely mild evening out with really good friends. We had a few drinks and a lot of laughs.
Life is going to get crazy as I finish up school, work a summer on the island, plan a wedding and pack up my childhood to embark on my adult life adventure.
I love my life. I have been incredibly blessed in many ways. And tonight, I am pausing to appreciate it all. :)
I would just like to take this moment to stop and appreciate how far I have come. Particularly in the last three years.
I have grown into the young woman that I am today, I have learned how to provide for myself and appreciate all the things God gave me on this earth. I've begun to get back in touch with the meaning and purpose of things. To realize the things I should pursue to gain genuine joy rather than superficial happiness. I have loved and lost, and loved and been blesses with a wonderful man who is my husband-to-be.
I had a lovely mild evening out with really good friends. We had a few drinks and a lot of laughs.
Life is going to get crazy as I finish up school, work a summer on the island, plan a wedding and pack up my childhood to embark on my adult life adventure.
I love my life. I have been incredibly blessed in many ways. And tonight, I am pausing to appreciate it all. :)
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Hallmark Holidays
It's Valentine's day! ~_~
I have been incredibly blessed this year. My sweetheart is one of the best out there. He is kind and generous, to everyone. He holds the door open for me, and holds my hand at the store. He's my best friend, we can sit for hours and not DO anything, and that's ok. He takes the time to listen to what I have to say, and he's not afraid to laugh at (or with) me. He puts my name into songs and sings them to me, and dances in the middle of the frozen food section with me. He has a good and tender heart. There is so much more that words simply can't describe. I am blessed to call him mine. I can't wait to marry this man.
to my darling Rob. I love you! <3
I have been incredibly blessed this year. My sweetheart is one of the best out there. He is kind and generous, to everyone. He holds the door open for me, and holds my hand at the store. He's my best friend, we can sit for hours and not DO anything, and that's ok. He takes the time to listen to what I have to say, and he's not afraid to laugh at (or with) me. He puts my name into songs and sings them to me, and dances in the middle of the frozen food section with me. He has a good and tender heart. There is so much more that words simply can't describe. I am blessed to call him mine. I can't wait to marry this man.
to my darling Rob. I love you! <3
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Personalization is of utmost importance
I have this inane need to always visually change my surroundings.
I typically re-arrange me room/furniture every few months. I'd do it more often if it wasn't such a pain in the ass. I also need things to be visually appealing. I have customized my mac to the point where it is so fine-tuned to my work-flow that being on other computers messes me up. Not to mention I can customize the look of every little thing on my mac, right down to the trash can icon. These things are very important to me. They have to look good and they have to be the way I want them to be.
My point of this whole tirade is that I hate windows...i know it seems unrelated but let me explain...
I've been eyeing netbooks for a couple months now. As much as i love and adore my big beautiful iMac it is not easy to transport. I figure with a netbook I can has the internets on the go and not have to worry about my iMac being up north in the fire-trap that is Mission House.
Then I got some of my tax information yesterday and found out that unemployment had paid me $300 i didn't know about! whaaaaa?! awesome! ^_^ so off I went to Best Buy to get the netbook I looked at a few days prior. "Nate" helped me out; super awesome salesperson in that he answered all my questions and didn't try to sell me crap I didn't want. Though I did pick up a few judgemental vibes when I mentioned that I'm a Mac person...lol.
So I got me a shiny little Asus...something or another...i don't really know the specs of it...it gets on the internet...that's really all i want.
HOWEVER i got it home, plugged it in, set it up and spent lots of time yelling at Ernie (my netbook) because windows is STUPID. not user friendly...or pretty. (i'm using Windows 7 Starter by the way) I was utterly miffed by the fact that upon further investigation I couldn't change my desktop background?! WHAAA?! at this point I seriously considered taking the computer back and asking them to put windows xp on it...or give me the older model with XP already on it. This is a very serious matter folks! upon even further investigation though, i figured out how to change it through some weird software that was pre-loaded on here, thank god I wasn't doomed to look at the same stupid ocean for the rest of Ernie's life!
now that that was taken care of. I like my netbook much better. It gets on the internet has a decent sized screen...( 10" i think?) and will do what i want it to..
so I'm happy with it. It's not mac. but it'll do. for now...until I can afford a macbook. :D
besides that; my fiance and I decided generally when we're going to get married (lol getting closer! better than sometime after I graduate...) sometime next spring 2011. It's gonna be a lot of work getting this wedding together; it won't be super traditional, and we'll probably be making our garments...yay >_< hehe.
also: creative interpretation has the potential to singlehandedly kill thousands of student's creativity.
UGH!
I typically re-arrange me room/furniture every few months. I'd do it more often if it wasn't such a pain in the ass. I also need things to be visually appealing. I have customized my mac to the point where it is so fine-tuned to my work-flow that being on other computers messes me up. Not to mention I can customize the look of every little thing on my mac, right down to the trash can icon. These things are very important to me. They have to look good and they have to be the way I want them to be.
My point of this whole tirade is that I hate windows...i know it seems unrelated but let me explain...
I've been eyeing netbooks for a couple months now. As much as i love and adore my big beautiful iMac it is not easy to transport. I figure with a netbook I can has the internets on the go and not have to worry about my iMac being up north in the fire-trap that is Mission House.
Then I got some of my tax information yesterday and found out that unemployment had paid me $300 i didn't know about! whaaaaa?! awesome! ^_^ so off I went to Best Buy to get the netbook I looked at a few days prior. "Nate" helped me out; super awesome salesperson in that he answered all my questions and didn't try to sell me crap I didn't want. Though I did pick up a few judgemental vibes when I mentioned that I'm a Mac person...lol.
So I got me a shiny little Asus...something or another...i don't really know the specs of it...it gets on the internet...that's really all i want.
HOWEVER i got it home, plugged it in, set it up and spent lots of time yelling at Ernie (my netbook) because windows is STUPID. not user friendly...or pretty. (i'm using Windows 7 Starter by the way) I was utterly miffed by the fact that upon further investigation I couldn't change my desktop background?! WHAAA?! at this point I seriously considered taking the computer back and asking them to put windows xp on it...or give me the older model with XP already on it. This is a very serious matter folks! upon even further investigation though, i figured out how to change it through some weird software that was pre-loaded on here, thank god I wasn't doomed to look at the same stupid ocean for the rest of Ernie's life!
now that that was taken care of. I like my netbook much better. It gets on the internet has a decent sized screen...( 10" i think?) and will do what i want it to..
so I'm happy with it. It's not mac. but it'll do. for now...until I can afford a macbook. :D
besides that; my fiance and I decided generally when we're going to get married (lol getting closer! better than sometime after I graduate...) sometime next spring 2011. It's gonna be a lot of work getting this wedding together; it won't be super traditional, and we'll probably be making our garments...yay >_< hehe.
also: creative interpretation has the potential to singlehandedly kill thousands of student's creativity.
UGH!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Oh The Humanity!
2010 is here to stay, I think this year will be better than the last; there are many changes happening in my life as I'll finish college, "grow-up"(HA), plan my wedding and my farm. However I do not want to speculate too much on the future, lest I forget about the day in front of me.
Which brings me to the joys of today.*
(*note sarcasm)
Nothing like starting your day bright and early 7am (an ungodly our for a Night Owl like me.) after going to bed and hour or two before...
crawling out of bed, into the brisk cold january morning and off to my favorite* kind of class. Drawing & Composition II. I've only been taking drawing classes for 8? years now. A girl can only draw so many sphere's and cylinders and still lifes. (YAWN) I want robots! and dinosaurs! and MOOSE(s)! maybe a giraffe for good measure.
So along with the boring subject, and the same old techniques over and over and over again. I get it. highlight, shadow, reflective highlight. done. I understand that "fine arts" are the foundation for EVERYTHING...but i get it, I've jumped through the silly hoops for years. But this isn't really the point of this tirade,
my biggest pet peeve about art classes is the supply list*
(*see starving artist)
WHY do I have to buy the super-ultra-premium shiny spiral-bound huge-child-eating special drawing paper pad. WHY? Particularly for LEARNING, wtf. You know you're gonna suck, you just are, so why suck on a piece of paper, the cost of which could buy you a tasty meal. When there is perfectly good clean, white paper at a fraction of the cost, that way if you mess up it's not a big deal, no pressure, this paper only cost 10cents, less than a package of ramen. "but it's for your portfolio, and it'll last for years to come..." your instructors will chant this mantra. I'll be damned if I put CLASSWORK into a portfolio, because when taken to a prospective employer or client they'll be like 'OH, you took THAT class' because all the other students in the class have taken their work from the same assignment to them. No thanks. I'll do original stuff on my own time (using the techniques I learned on my super-cheap paper) and put THAT in my portfolio, that way when I take it to a client they'll be like 'we don't recognize these assignments' and I'll be like 'that's because I did it on my own time from my own ideas' and they'll be like 'WOW, you must be really motivated and driven and look at how creative you are! let me give you money!' So when I'm ready to create 'masterpieces' not do 'homework' THEN I'll put it on nice paper. But while I'm learning and practicing I'll use the cheap stuff, thanks.
My other issue. Size, WHY do the drawings have to be so HUGE? I mean seriously. Bigger is not always better, I like to travel quick and light, carrying around a giant pad of paper creates a lot of wind resistance and makes your person take up far more space than should be socially acceptable. I don't understand why art is "better" if it takes up entire walls. What am I going to do with a 3ft by 4ft drawing of spheres and cones? Nobody wants to put that on the wall, and since it's on the afore mentioned god-paper you can't just throw it out or burn it, (between the paper and the amount of graphite it took to cover it, that's like 3 meals!) Just because you draw big doesn't mean you draw good. I would rather on a drawing will fit in my backpack. Then there are no concerns about taking flight on your way from the parking lot to the classroom.
I refuse to believe that I have to buy expensive art supplies to create "good" art. I think it speaks more of a persons creative ability if they can create 'awesome' out of computer paper and crayons.
rawr.
that's all. just rawr.
i hate art classes. ~_~
Which brings me to the joys of today.*
(*note sarcasm)
Nothing like starting your day bright and early 7am (an ungodly our for a Night Owl like me.) after going to bed and hour or two before...
crawling out of bed, into the brisk cold january morning and off to my favorite* kind of class. Drawing & Composition II. I've only been taking drawing classes for 8? years now. A girl can only draw so many sphere's and cylinders and still lifes. (YAWN) I want robots! and dinosaurs! and MOOSE(s)! maybe a giraffe for good measure.
So along with the boring subject, and the same old techniques over and over and over again. I get it. highlight, shadow, reflective highlight. done. I understand that "fine arts" are the foundation for EVERYTHING...but i get it, I've jumped through the silly hoops for years. But this isn't really the point of this tirade,
my biggest pet peeve about art classes is the supply list*
(*see starving artist)
WHY do I have to buy the super-ultra-premium shiny spiral-bound huge-child-eating special drawing paper pad. WHY? Particularly for LEARNING, wtf. You know you're gonna suck, you just are, so why suck on a piece of paper, the cost of which could buy you a tasty meal. When there is perfectly good clean, white paper at a fraction of the cost, that way if you mess up it's not a big deal, no pressure, this paper only cost 10cents, less than a package of ramen. "but it's for your portfolio, and it'll last for years to come..." your instructors will chant this mantra. I'll be damned if I put CLASSWORK into a portfolio, because when taken to a prospective employer or client they'll be like 'OH, you took THAT class' because all the other students in the class have taken their work from the same assignment to them. No thanks. I'll do original stuff on my own time (using the techniques I learned on my super-cheap paper) and put THAT in my portfolio, that way when I take it to a client they'll be like 'we don't recognize these assignments' and I'll be like 'that's because I did it on my own time from my own ideas' and they'll be like 'WOW, you must be really motivated and driven and look at how creative you are! let me give you money!' So when I'm ready to create 'masterpieces' not do 'homework' THEN I'll put it on nice paper. But while I'm learning and practicing I'll use the cheap stuff, thanks.
My other issue. Size, WHY do the drawings have to be so HUGE? I mean seriously. Bigger is not always better, I like to travel quick and light, carrying around a giant pad of paper creates a lot of wind resistance and makes your person take up far more space than should be socially acceptable. I don't understand why art is "better" if it takes up entire walls. What am I going to do with a 3ft by 4ft drawing of spheres and cones? Nobody wants to put that on the wall, and since it's on the afore mentioned god-paper you can't just throw it out or burn it, (between the paper and the amount of graphite it took to cover it, that's like 3 meals!) Just because you draw big doesn't mean you draw good. I would rather on a drawing will fit in my backpack. Then there are no concerns about taking flight on your way from the parking lot to the classroom.
I refuse to believe that I have to buy expensive art supplies to create "good" art. I think it speaks more of a persons creative ability if they can create 'awesome' out of computer paper and crayons.
rawr.
that's all. just rawr.
i hate art classes. ~_~
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Past, Present and Forward!
The new year is almost here!
I can't believe it, while the minutes crawl, the days the years fly. I do just want to take a minute to reflect on the changes and the difficulties I've overcome in just a year. A year ago I was miserable and desperate, trapped. I was worked two terrible winter jobs, still without a penny to my name. I headed north for the summer with dreams of peace and freedom. It was a bit rocky at first, but by the end of the summer I had gained those two things, though not in the way I expected them. Now the year ends and the new one begins and I am engaged to the man of my dreams. The one God brought to me, for me, and I for him. The way we met and began to spend time together is simply to "coincidental" to be anything but a godsend. I love my darling so very much and I look forward to a happy life with him.
I'm on course now to be graduated with an Associates in Illustration by this time next year. I haven't been able to find any traditional work. But I have managed to pick up a few freelance jobs, which range from design to dogsitting. Which leaves me with a lot of time for myself. I have been trying hard not to simply waste it, though sometimes 'nothing' days are nice. After such a crazy summer it is so nice to just spend quiet peaceful days at home. I've spent lots of time creating all manner of things, catching up on my reading, learning how to do new things from the internet, spend time with my family and my darling, and dreaming about the homestead I want to someday have.
I did a lot of growing up this year. I've done a lot of growing up in the past few years. I've also learned a lot of important lessons. I learned the value of a dollar and the importance of "making-do" and also of being thrifty. I've learned what it means to be in a relationship; both good and bad. I wouldn't wish my ex on anyone, but I am thankful for the lessons he taught me, without them I wouldn't be as mature as I am now. I'm beginning to learn what it means to love someone, to be a partner or a team with your other. I've realized (and am unspeakably thankful) how fortunate and blessed I've been with the family God has given me. Not everyone has been as lucky as I have, I hope that someday I'll be able to pass that on to my kids. I'm trying to be responsible, to think ahead and pray often.
As for next year;
I'm not one for New Years resolutions. I probably won't start an exercise regime, or go on a diet (at least not until the summer) I will however do my best to stay positive through all my classes as dreary as they may be. I'll do what it takes to graduate next December.
I'll continue to strengthen my relationship with Rob, to understand him better and to love and support him, so that we have a healthy foundation for our marriage. I'll also start to formulate plans for our wedding.
I hope to make some new friends and enjoy the Island in the summer.
I eagerly await the blessings God has for me. It will be a good year.
I can't believe it, while the minutes crawl, the days the years fly. I do just want to take a minute to reflect on the changes and the difficulties I've overcome in just a year. A year ago I was miserable and desperate, trapped. I was worked two terrible winter jobs, still without a penny to my name. I headed north for the summer with dreams of peace and freedom. It was a bit rocky at first, but by the end of the summer I had gained those two things, though not in the way I expected them. Now the year ends and the new one begins and I am engaged to the man of my dreams. The one God brought to me, for me, and I for him. The way we met and began to spend time together is simply to "coincidental" to be anything but a godsend. I love my darling so very much and I look forward to a happy life with him.
I'm on course now to be graduated with an Associates in Illustration by this time next year. I haven't been able to find any traditional work. But I have managed to pick up a few freelance jobs, which range from design to dogsitting. Which leaves me with a lot of time for myself. I have been trying hard not to simply waste it, though sometimes 'nothing' days are nice. After such a crazy summer it is so nice to just spend quiet peaceful days at home. I've spent lots of time creating all manner of things, catching up on my reading, learning how to do new things from the internet, spend time with my family and my darling, and dreaming about the homestead I want to someday have.
I did a lot of growing up this year. I've done a lot of growing up in the past few years. I've also learned a lot of important lessons. I learned the value of a dollar and the importance of "making-do" and also of being thrifty. I've learned what it means to be in a relationship; both good and bad. I wouldn't wish my ex on anyone, but I am thankful for the lessons he taught me, without them I wouldn't be as mature as I am now. I'm beginning to learn what it means to love someone, to be a partner or a team with your other. I've realized (and am unspeakably thankful) how fortunate and blessed I've been with the family God has given me. Not everyone has been as lucky as I have, I hope that someday I'll be able to pass that on to my kids. I'm trying to be responsible, to think ahead and pray often.
As for next year;
I'm not one for New Years resolutions. I probably won't start an exercise regime, or go on a diet (at least not until the summer) I will however do my best to stay positive through all my classes as dreary as they may be. I'll do what it takes to graduate next December.
I'll continue to strengthen my relationship with Rob, to understand him better and to love and support him, so that we have a healthy foundation for our marriage. I'll also start to formulate plans for our wedding.
I hope to make some new friends and enjoy the Island in the summer.
I eagerly await the blessings God has for me. It will be a good year.
Friday, December 4, 2009
A Modest Proposal
I'm engaged!
A year ago I never would have thought this would be the case
hell, I wouldn't have thought I'd be engaged 6months ago!
But I happened to meet the perfect man not so long ago
We are two peas in a pod
similar but different enough to be interesting
he loves me
i love him
I didn't think he existed
the one who is as perfect for me as I am for him
now don't get me wrong,
he's certainly not perfect
but he's perfect for me.
he gave me a beautiful ring
proposed on horseback in the rolling hills of upstate New York.
We'll get married in a year or two, once I'm finished with school.
We'll have a small hobby farm and provide for ourselves.
I'm estatic
I never thought I'd meet the one
but here he is!
A blessing indeed. :)
A year ago I never would have thought this would be the case
hell, I wouldn't have thought I'd be engaged 6months ago!
But I happened to meet the perfect man not so long ago
We are two peas in a pod
similar but different enough to be interesting
he loves me
i love him
I didn't think he existed
the one who is as perfect for me as I am for him
now don't get me wrong,
he's certainly not perfect
but he's perfect for me.
he gave me a beautiful ring
proposed on horseback in the rolling hills of upstate New York.
We'll get married in a year or two, once I'm finished with school.
We'll have a small hobby farm and provide for ourselves.
I'm estatic
I never thought I'd meet the one
but here he is!
A blessing indeed. :)
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