the population of rolly backpacks is OUT OF CONTROL

i started classes today...

actually, i've only been to one so far

Cermaics

WOO

haha.

it's really a lot of the same stuff I did in highschool

but it'll be nice to get back with clay again

i'm off to painting class in bit here

so far. it's tolerable

i'm not so sure how i feel about being at the texas campus

instead of downtown

i feel like there's a very large population of

rolling backbacks... [carry your shit]

dump people... [they're everywhere!]

socially inept people... [yeeeah...awkward!]

not to mention all the people from highschool

that i'd really rather not see anymore.

or talk to

or whatever

ugh.

i think i'll go back downtown next winter

it doesn't feel quite so much like a community college down there.

it's more like a small private design school.

then i think i'll finish an associates in either graphic design or illustration.

-----

I got a new job!

hooray!

i quite the GAP :D

best day of my life

haha

i got a job at a Greenhouse in comstock

planting stuff, basically doing factory type work, but in a better environment. :)

anyhoo, it pays much better and the hours are better

so that oughta hold me over until this summer

oh summer

i'm really starting to miss Mackinac

i wasn't sure when i left if i'd go back for another summer

but i miss is too much to not go back for at least one more year

i hope too that gary will come back north

even if he doesn't work for the parks

i'd miss him terribly if he was in Jackson for the summer :(

here's to old farewells and new beginnings

I'm afraid i've negleted this poor blog.

I'm afraid the way i've left things off since the last post suggests i found the railroad tracks ;P

nevermind about that

things are much much better

my darling is a safe warm place

with a fluffy homicidal muffin on legs [kitten] to keep him company.

I have since gotten a job at the GAP which i hope to quite soon

in favor of working at a greenhouse planting plants and the like

i finished my 3rd semester in college

and have since begun to re-evaluate what i'm doing with my life

it's been a 'fun' trip....

------

i was at work the other day

i really didn't want to be there to begin with

it was New Years Day for crying out loud...

AND i had worked the night before.

who does that? who schedules someone for both those days.

jerks. that's who.

anyhoo

this 'charming' woman comes in

[i was working on the kids side...which i loathe]

and has some returns to make

she was generally unpleasant and not very helpful

she then pulls this kids skirt out that she had bought

and asks if we have anymore in the back,

because that skirt seems to be cut "a little narrow"

but what the problem REALLY is, is that her kid is just too big to fit into it

nevermind that the kid is probably only 5ish years old

and we do happen to offer a plethora of girls skirts made for older girls

i take the skirt from her and do a merchandise locator

[the computer looks to see if we have it in our store, or a nearby store]

it comes up as '1'. which usually means we don't have it, or the only one is already out on the floor.

i tell the woman we don't have any in the back

she says 'well can't you just go back and look?'

me: the computer says there aren't any

her: well can you just go look?

me: no, i can't. there aren't any, anyways.

her: you can't take a minute to go back and check?

me: no, i am the only one on the floor on this side and i cannot leave to go look

her: well how come you don't have any?

me: *shrug* i dunno, we're inbetween seasons right now, it might be on it's way out

her: it just came in yesterday! it's right over there! *points*

me: *shrug* well, i'm sorry, but i can't help you. We don't have any in the back.

her: *storms off* muttering about talking to a manager

ok. the moral of this story, is that if you're a jerk to me. I will do the minimum to serve you.
on the other hand, if your pleasant and nice, i will do whatever i can to help you find what your looking for and save you some money.

so be nice to your cashiers, sales associates, servers etc.

they have more power than you think. :D

----

ok...enough with the ranting.

i'll try not to neglet this so much...

there's plenty that happened in the last two months, but i'm not going to go over it all

a quick re-cap.

school sucked, but i passed my classes.

the holidays were very nice

i was happy that gary came for christmas dinner

my time has otherwise been spent at school.work.gary's. and home.

school starts again on the 12th. should be fun. my classes:

modern culture & the arts, creative writing, ceramics, and painting.

:D

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted

what i would do for $200 right now

anything

i would like peanut butter off of a hobos toes

or get locked in a room with a tiger

life just sucks right now

it just does

it drives me crazy

its breaking my heart

that theres nothing more i can do

nothing i can offer

nothing i can say

fucking

nothing

it hurts far too much

when did i start caring this much?

why do i care this much?

i try to keep my friends at a minimum

because i care

but the ones that i've got

myself included

seem to be falling apart all around me

i don't know what else to do

fuck this

fuck life

where are the railroad tracks?

Norman my ass

so, I was having issues with my fancypants Adobe Creative Suite' 3 Design Standard.
in that, when I tried to open my programs it told me that the "licensing for this product is no longer valid"
or some such nonsense like that.

so. I call Adobe customer support

who else do i get

but Norman.

now as we all know, India is the home of all tech supports that were ever created

so Norman...this Indian man answers the phone after some terrible 'hold music'

and i proceed to get transfered to 4 different Indians and one American...

omg

finally. we get to...ralph? i think his "name" was.

36 min 47 sec later.

all i learn is that i should uninstall then reinstall the programs

Ya coulda told me that to begin with!

dumbasses

oy veh

i HATE talking to tech supports of anything

they assume you know nothing...rightly so.

but still.

i'm not THAT stupid.

Venting aside. I'm currently re=installing the Design Suite...so with any luck That'll fix it...

otherwise...someone in India is gettin slapped...

~_~

anyhoo on with the rest of life

----

there's a lot I wish I could talk about

but i can't really

not yet

not here

fuck

----

I got my Voter Identification Card

I will be voting for the next President on Nov 4th.

Despite all the fire & brimstone talk about America

we still remain a fine country i think.

----

I got a job working at The GAP for the holiday season

joy.

~_~

if nothing else that'll give me some retail on my resume

which will help in future jobs

i hope.

it's only part time

so i'm hoping to pick up another part-time job as well

i need to make some money. soon...

----

this is not going where I had thought it would

----

my life is not going where I had originally thought it would

hell

i don't even know what i'll be doing next year

i don't know what I want to do with my life

I don't know what I want to be when i grow up

yeah yeah yeah....i know i don't "have to know" right now

but it sure would be nice

fuck

i don't want to be an illustrator

or a graphic designer

i don't want to be in the professional design industry. period.

i don't want to be a nurse or a doctor

i want nothing to do with science or math

i really don't care a whole lot for history either

i like art

i like books

i like animals

now what the hell can i do with that?

i've considered taking my chances as an artist...

but um...i like eating...occasionally...

i'd like to get back with horses

in fact, i'd be pretty content to work on a farm for a while...

these things are so much easier to decide when your single

you don't have to worry about where your other is

what they want to do

where they will work

where you'd live

etc etc etc

but at the same time i suppose it's nice having an other

someone who's there with you, no matter what.

oy

life is not what i expected it to be

all i can do is take it one day at a time

and keep my eyes on the goal....

...being the crazy cat lady in the big scary house in the old neighborhood...

its all that inbetween life stuff that worries me.....

Never take a blind date to a silent film.

really, you'd just spend the whole night explaining what was going on.

I'm still neglecting this poor blog. Mostly because there hasn't been anything much to talk about.

my life at the moment...

school mon and tues...1-9pm

nothing wed-sun...

stay up until 4am...sleep until noon...

putz on the computer

sometimes do homework

play with Fred

talk on the phone.

repeat.

oy.

with any luck I'll be able to find a job. It's not for lack of effort believe me.
I spend a lot of time perusing jobs and filling out applications.

otherwise I'll be going back up north this weekend and next.

I was looking back over some of my previous posts from this year

and I have arrived at a few conclusions

one. I am brilliant.

haha, no really, I am. I'm funny and clever and I write remarkably well.

two. I'm vain

as shown by my previous conclusion

three. Everytime I mention anything about being happy single

some shmutz shows up
not that i'm complaining... ;)

four. "insert clever title here"

This blog should be printed and preserved for future Historians. Because my name will be one to remember some day.

----

As far as real life goes.

My life is not taking the direction I thought it would.

I've decided that professional Graphic Design and Illustration are not for me

I just don't want to do it. I don't think I'd be happy.

I'd like to work with animals... but I don't want to be a Vet.

maybe a zookeeper or stable hand or something...

After this semester of design classes I'll be quiting the Design program at school.

Next semester I'll take some art classes because I still have some government money left...

My parents have been mostly supportive of me.

Though I can't make them understand that I'm not going to do something I'm not happy doing

They said that life doesn't work like that.

well. I refuse to settle. There is no reason why I can't be happy doing what I do.

I'll figure it out.

It always works out. Always.

maybe not how I originally thought it would. But it still works out...

----

I am pretty happy for the most part with where I am in life at the moment.

My art and creating has been fairly steady, and not totally terrible.

I think though that I need to start a new Web Gallery....I just have to find a good one...

well. That's all for this rather droll post for the moment...

something old, something new, change is a certainty

well, i think it's safe to say my life has changed dramatically even in the short time since my last post was written

the summer finished nothing like it started

i managed to stir up trouble several times over

some of which i can't mention just yet.

soon.

but i don't want to screw things up.

so i'm gonna keep my mouth shut.

life would be much easier

if people would go read a book

and mind their own business

oy

i'm home from mackinac

and miss it sorely

i miss my life there

which happens to be amazing

life at home...not terrible...but not mine.

i do however get significantly more time for art

which is nice

but i'd rather have my Mackinac Life...

in any case, we shall see how this all plays out over the next few months or so

my fingers are crossed

i hope it turns out well....

Like an Old Friend

It's been far to long since I've kept record of anything here.

I think it's safe to say that plenty has happened since i wrote last.

I succesfully completed my first year of schooling.

I have made my way back to my beloved Mackinac

Have had encounters with my fair share of Gentlemen

I must say that I am thoroughly content where I am.

In everything, in life in love and everything.

It's impossible to be sad for long when one is on Mackinac

This place has such a life in it

I had a chance have an "other"

But soon found that he was neither the right one, nor am i any better prepared to invest myself in someone

I'm finding that I am, for the most part, quite happily by myself

Granted, there are times when a heart does wish for someone

but at the same time, if it is not the 'right' someone, there's no point

I'm finding myself to be changed since a year ago

I'm finding myself to be growing up

To be discovering a new certainty of who I am

What my dreams for my life would be

I do hope that I shall always be faithful to my dreams

That I will never settle

To Pursue that which I would strive for

I want to be so much more than just a passing breeze in the world...