Monday, May 19, 2008

a social virus


something i dearly hope i never become.

A life where we all live in neat little boxes, with a white picket fence,

2.5 children

1 charming husband who works from 9-5

you're the stay-at-home mom

who takes her kids to the park

attends some 'mommy-group' or two

spends her days looking after her children, keeping up with the house

maybe, just maybe getting a quiet moment after the kids are in bed to indulge herself

outwardly she appears to be vibrant and cheerful, an excellent mother and wonderful wife

she drives a shiny mini-van

and has a pretty little garden in the yard

The family attends neighborhood barbeques

and everyone makes like their lives are marvelous

Steve just got promoted

Joan is pregnant with number 4

etc etc etc

but what goes on behind closed doors?

what's really going on inwardly?

I could never be...that 'suburban mom'

i could never live in those perfect little comfortable boxes, that they are too terrified to step out of

they don't change

they get stuck in a routine

change becomes a paralyzing thought.


such is an existence i could never resign myself to

to become that would be to deny the very core of my being

i thrive on new experiences

on changing it up a bit or a lot

on running with a different crowd

i indulge my curiosity and imagination

i search constantly for new creative outlets and inspiration

a regular change in my surroundings is a necessity

i want to be something more than just another cog in the machine

i want to impact this world while i'm here

even if it's just in a small way

i refuse to become monotonous

to become a part of the suburbian 'dream' would certainly

slowly eat away the living soul in me

until there was nothing but a plastic shell of the 'american dream'

i refuse to settle for less

i refuse to be miserable

i refuse to lead a mundane existence

if my life gets droll

i will change

even if it means leaving everything i know to start again

anything would be better

then being a cog in the machine

to be catch 'suburbia'