Monday, October 20, 2008

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted

what i would do for $200 right now


i would like peanut butter off of a hobos toes

or get locked in a room with a tiger

life just sucks right now

it just does

it drives me crazy

its breaking my heart

that theres nothing more i can do

nothing i can offer

nothing i can say



it hurts far too much

when did i start caring this much?

why do i care this much?

i try to keep my friends at a minimum

because i care

but the ones that i've got

myself included

seem to be falling apart all around me

i don't know what else to do

fuck this

fuck life

where are the railroad tracks?
Thursday, October 16, 2008

Norman my ass

so, I was having issues with my fancypants Adobe Creative Suite' 3 Design Standard.
in that, when I tried to open my programs it told me that the "licensing for this product is no longer valid"
or some such nonsense like that.

so. I call Adobe customer support

who else do i get

but Norman.

now as we all know, India is the home of all tech supports that were ever created

so Norman...this Indian man answers the phone after some terrible 'hold music'

and i proceed to get transfered to 4 different Indians and one American...


finally. we get to...ralph? i think his "name" was.

36 min 47 sec later.

all i learn is that i should uninstall then reinstall the programs

Ya coulda told me that to begin with!


oy veh

i HATE talking to tech supports of anything

they assume you know nothing...rightly so.

but still.

i'm not THAT stupid.

Venting aside. I'm currently re=installing the Design with any luck That'll fix it...

otherwise...someone in India is gettin slapped...


anyhoo on with the rest of life


there's a lot I wish I could talk about

but i can't really

not yet

not here



I got my Voter Identification Card

I will be voting for the next President on Nov 4th.

Despite all the fire & brimstone talk about America

we still remain a fine country i think.


I got a job working at The GAP for the holiday season



if nothing else that'll give me some retail on my resume

which will help in future jobs

i hope.

it's only part time

so i'm hoping to pick up another part-time job as well

i need to make some money. soon...


this is not going where I had thought it would


my life is not going where I had originally thought it would


i don't even know what i'll be doing next year

i don't know what I want to do with my life

I don't know what I want to be when i grow up

yeah yeah yeah....i know i don't "have to know" right now

but it sure would be nice


i don't want to be an illustrator

or a graphic designer

i don't want to be in the professional design industry. period.

i don't want to be a nurse or a doctor

i want nothing to do with science or math

i really don't care a whole lot for history either

i like art

i like books

i like animals

now what the hell can i do with that?

i've considered taking my chances as an artist...

but um...i like eating...occasionally...

i'd like to get back with horses

in fact, i'd be pretty content to work on a farm for a while...

these things are so much easier to decide when your single

you don't have to worry about where your other is

what they want to do

where they will work

where you'd live

etc etc etc

but at the same time i suppose it's nice having an other

someone who's there with you, no matter what.


life is not what i expected it to be

all i can do is take it one day at a time

and keep my eyes on the goal....

...being the crazy cat lady in the big scary house in the old neighborhood...

its all that inbetween life stuff that worries me.....