oy veh

so...my feelings about the week....totally true...:P

made a fair amount in tips at work on friday ^_^ theeen...hung out with trace and them again....got hit on by a creepy guy...o_o....got home around...5am.... slept until 4 :D ....theeen...

i went to my brother's play with my sister, it was really funny...then i hung out with trace and them again...until...like...5am...
but it was fun ^_^

so now, here i am...after...3ish hours of sleep....i had an energy drink this morning....which has since kicked in, but i'm not sure how long it'll last. o_o

looks like this coming week is gonna be busy too.

classes....coffee with nate tomorrow ^_^ work on tuesday....halloween party wednesday in GR....gonna help my brother-in-law's little sister with a horse on thursday....aaand hopefully going to hear/meet this guy at the CopyCup on friday....then work again on saturday! phew....

should be a good week though ^_^

i kind of feel like doing something creative....hmmmmmmm....

anyhoo...that's it for now...

so far so good

ok...apart from a slight rough start monday morning, this week had been really good! and it's only...wednesday...

monday morning i overslept...but i was only 5min late to class...which isn't bad.

talked to Ian inbetween classes.....we talked pretty much all class period...he gave me his e-mail/IM. so we shall see...

monday night...no work!...watched Heros ^_^ hung out with lauren. it was fun.

lets see.....tuesday morning...had a midterm, which i'm pretty sure i aced. then i finally finished my english paper....which i also feel pretty good about. Jordan had to go home sick :( but i had a few hours to spend by myself which was kind of nice...
then...i went to work....and had a fairly good night, lots of tables :D. Keith was in a good mood, which was nice....
THEN! haha...then the fun begins....

i got out of work and Trace had called me, he and Janna were in kalamazoo bowling :D. with a Trace's brother Brock and some of their other friends. I didn't bowl with them, they just finished their game...Trace drove my truck to meijer to pick up some stuff to snack on, O_O that was sometimes scary....but we survived....

sooo...then..we went to Fiona's house and played Imaginiff...until like...2am...then we went to steak'n'shake :D that was pretty fun. got back around...3am...i decided to just spend the night at Fiona's with trace and janna. woot! sleepover! lol.
i didn't actually sleep that well...but it was fun.

in the morning Trace figured out that i squeak when he tickles me...especially if i dont expect it....~_~....he thought that was a grand game...

theeeen...we got Fiona and Ray up and i made pancakes...and we all sat at the table and ate breakfast, which was fun! janna left around noon... :( then me...Fiona, Trace and Ray went and played Frisbie golf, which i'm not really very good at...yet...but i discovered on the last hole that i left-handed not right....^_^....
i twisted my ankle...it still hurts a little bit...but nothing serious... :)

whatelse....pretty much just hung out with Trace and Ray and Fiona for the afternoon......had dinner at Carabas...which was very good! i'd never eaten there before...Brock works there...

i moseyed around the mall a little looking for jobs....i don't really know where to apply...nothing really appeals to me... :(
ergh...i am so spoiled...

The rest of the week i hope bodes well.....no work tomorrow! work friday, but trace may be in town again....going to a play with my sister on saturday....life is looking good...i hope! ^_^

per usual i'm anxious to see what tomorrow holds...

*mindless humming*

i've got a good feeling about this week....so hopefully it'll follow through.

I got 6 old books from Goodwill today...like...neat old books, pretty ones.

i got:

"No Relations"
"Ivanhoe"
"Vanity Fair"
"Pilgrims Progress"
"The Blue Flower"
and
"Scenes of a Clerical Life"

i'm really excited...they were only $2 a piece...and a lady there told me they sold old books at salvation army for like...50cents a piece...woot!

i really love beautiful old books....even if what's inside is boring...

I'm going to use the last book as a multimedia art project. unless it turns out to be a really good book...in which case i'll have to find ANOTHER boring but beautiful book.

i did start reading "No Relations" and it sucked me in...i don't know why....but i got really caught up in the story after reading the first chapter.....

anyways...besides my books....

Trace should be in town sometime this week....that's exciting....

Quirky Kirk should be accompanying us to lunch tomorrow....we shall see...

hmm.....

I'm going to my brothers' play with my sister on saturday....that should be fun.

i dunno...i just have a good vibe for this week....at least for tomorrow. :D

letting go

i feel like i'm waiting...i don't really know what for...
it's just that nagging feeling of anticipation of something.
i don't know if it's a good something, or a bad something....or maybe it's just a something.

i just wish i knew what it was.

i wish my life was more interesting...

i'm pretty sure now that i've said that, i'll regret it a week from now....we shall see then...

hmm...i think this sums it up pretty well:

"Now I was sitting waiting wishing
That you believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs
But Lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning loving somebody don't make them love you

Must I always be waiting waiting on you?
Must I always be playing playing your fool?

I sing ya songs I dance a dance
I gave ya friends all a chance
Putting up with them wasn't worth never having you
And maybe you been through this before
But its my first time
So please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you

I cant always be waiting waiting on you
I cant always be playing playing your fool
I keep playing your part
But its not my scene
Wont this plot not twist?
I've had enough mystery.
Keep building me up, then shooting me down
Well im already down
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting

Well if I was in your position
Id put down all my ammunition
I'd wondered why'd it taken me so long
But Lord knows that I'm not you
And If I was I wouldn't be so cruel
Cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do

Must I always be waiting waiting on you?
Must I always be playing playing your fool?
No I cant always be waiting waiting on you
I cant always be playing playing your fool, foool"

*Jack Johnson
Sitting, Waiting Wishing.

oh weekends....

i just can't seem to catch up with anything...

the rough draft for an english paper is due tomorrow....i haven't even started it yet...and it's after 1am....i don't know what to write about...

I went to up to mackinac this last weekend...i'm still not sure if that was a good idea or not...

i miss everyone more than ever. i miss my island. i miss my friends, my boys, my room, the porch. It's just not the same being at home.

i was telling rusty that when i'm there, on the island. I feel like i belong, i feel content and happy.

i don't ever feel like that. At home, for as long as i can remember i've always been restless, and not unhappy, but there's always a little cloud that hangs out in the background.

but then...when i'm on the island with those people. it feels like home.

it was really good to see everyone. to spend time with them.

i miss nights at the Grand all gussied up, dancing the night away....

cold nights curled up in a blanket with another person or two.

falling asleep totally at peace......

_______________________________

i had kind of been hoping that something would come out of this weekend that we spent together. but as far as i can tell...it hasn't. I don't know how long i want to wait until he knows what he wants. it's not fair.

i had been hoping, that maybe...just maybe...i might actually have a real someone...i guess that's still to much to hope for.

i almost wish that nothing had ever happened....but it did. and now here i am. i hate always being "just friends"

only time will tell....someday....i will find someone to love who loves me.

i know...i'm probably just being a silly girl...but i am what i am...

i hate crying over boys...it's lame...